


sometimes i don't know why you're staying with me

by jayflorian



Series: life ain’t always pretty (but you are) [1]
Category: Descendants (Disney Movies)
Genre: M/M, my own self care, theres a lot of introspective chad feelings, this is the domestic chadlos i was talking about
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-11
Updated: 2019-08-11
Packaged: 2020-08-19 13:03:11
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,555
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20210203
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jayflorian/pseuds/jayflorian
Summary: Carlos gently patted a cool compress against Chad’s eye bags. “This is only cosmetic, you know,” he reminded him, worry soft in his voice no matter if he tried to hide it. “These aren’t going to heal unless you get some sleep.”Chad snorted. “Remind me when I’m going to have time for that.”





	sometimes i don't know why you're staying with me

**Author's Note:**

> so, this is essentially word vomit, but it's also chadlos so like. i win.
> 
> my tumblr is [here](https://jayflorian.tumblr.com/)
> 
> the prompt used is from [here](https://whumpster-dumpster.tumblr.com/post/186919410132/caretaker-gently-patting-a-cool-compress-against)

Carlos gently patted a cool compress against Chad’s eye bags. “This is only cosmetic, you know,” he reminded him, worry soft in his voice no matter if he tried to hide it. “These aren’t going to heal unless you get some sleep.”

Chad snorted. “Remind me when I’m going to have time for that.”

Lips pressed together, Carlos pressed down a little harder with the compress, pulling his legs up onto the couch with them as an excuse. “I don’t  _ have  _ to be doing this, you know.” 

“...I know.” Chad acknowledged hesitantly, yawning and twisting his body a little uncomfortably while he brushed Carlos’s hands off his face, cold compress and all. He took the compress from him and set in on the coffee table, sinking into the couch as he leaned back a little more, mumbling, “Sorry.” 

Carlos relaxed again almost immediately, not really irritated. He pulled his knees to his chest, trying to get as comfortable as he could. “You’re being stupid again, love.” He waved off the apology. “How do you not have time to sleep? A twenty minute nap can do wonders, you know.”

Carlos could visibly see Chad struggling to answer. One of his favourite parts of his boyfriend was the fact he couldn’t really lie for shit once you were able to see past his (admittedly to nobody but himself,  _ goregous _ ) smile, because it really came in handy at any moment. Like knowing when Chad was cycling through lies in his brain like it was a jukebox, and knowing exactly when he realised that nothing would be good enough. Carlos thought it was pretty cute anytime the lie wasn’t being directed to him. 

“It’s just…” Chad’s lower lip disappeared under his teeth, clearly biting hard enough that Carlos was wincing for him. “I don’t know. It’s a really stupid reason- And no, that’s not an invitation to insult me, thank you very much. You can’t say ‘you’re always stupid, Chad’, or something.”

Vaguely insulting of Chad to think he would do such a thing. At this moment, at least. “Your problems aren’t stupid,” He decided to actually voice, because best case scenerio he can convince Chad this was all a sleep deprived hallucination after he actually sleeps. Only that’s gaslighting, and not good in any shape or form, so maybe not. “And you talking about them isn’t stupid. What’s stupid is when you voice the increadibly simple thoughts that just pop into your head, because most people have a filter. You,  _ as a person, _ aren’t stupid. Got that?”

So maybe saying it real slow and condescending like he did what a little counterproductive to his point, but  _ ohgodholyshithwatthefuck  _ Chad was actually tearing up. Did Carlos somehow fuck up? He thought that was a pretty okay little prep talk. “Chad-”

“I’m sorry!” Chad blubbered out, and snatched the blanket off the back of the couch to hide his face (and tears) in it. “I-I don’t know  _ why _ -” His voice broke and cracked, and he laughed. It was one of those little laughs that meant something wasn’t actually funny, but not his ‘polite’ fake laugh or his ‘do my homework’ fake laugh, it was a lot more directed towards himself. Wrapping his arms around his boyfriend, Carlos dimly wondered if he could make any money on a book about Chad Charming behaviour patterns.

Chad didn’t move much when Carlos hugged him, but automatically wrapped his arms around him and squeezed tight. “I’m sorry,” He repeated miserably after a long moment, voice muffled by the blanket. “That really got to me. I-I don’t think… I mean,” He had to take a moment, and Carlos pulled away slightly so Chad could pull up his head. Chad immediately pulled his close again. 

“Sleep deprivation is a lot like being drunk without the fun parts,” Carlos told him helpfully, hand slipping under Chad’s t-shirt to rub his back soothingly. “You’re really emotional at the stuff you usually aren’t. Which is  _ why you need sleep, _ ”

Resting his cheek on Carlos’s hair. “Nobody ever said something like that.” He said softly, ignoring Carlos’s words completely. “I mean, like, my mom has, but she’s my  _ mom,  _ she has to-” He remembered who his boyfriend was. “Sorry.”

“I think you’ve apologized more in the last ten minutes then since I met you,” Carlos told him honestly, using his free hand to smooth over some of Chad’s hair. It was the same way he pet Dude when trying to calm him down, but what Chad didn’t know wouldn’t hurt him.

“You’re petting me like Dude,” Chad said into his shoulder, and well. Fuck. “Don’t stop,” Chad said quickly after when Carlos’s hand hesitated. 

Carlos kept going, thinking about how to extract Chad’s feelings from him in the most pain-free way possible. He swallowed thickly as the implications washed over him. “So, you’re saying that nobody has  _ ever _ told you you’re not stupid besides your mom? Chad.” 

Chad sniffed. “That’s a little dramatic, even for me, huh?” His voice was tired. Crying took a lot out of a person, and Chad was already not all…  _ there there  _ at the moment. “I’m sure that, you know, someone has. Like teachers and people who get paid for that stuff. I just don’t… I can’t remember some I care about. That sounds  _ so  _ emo, let me…”

Chad pulled away regretfully, rubbing at his eyes and running a hand through his hair, tugging at the curls hazardously. “I’m really used to it! I  _ own _ it! Doug’s been using it to make himself look good since we were twelve… Ugh, that makes me sound like I hate Doug. I don’t! Doug is great, and I  _ get _ it, and it’s not like I ever told him to stop, and then there’s the whole Audrey situation, and, you know. But she’s not really nice to anyone, no matter what she says, so it’s really not a big deal, right? Right.”

Carlos took the rant in stride, mulling it over in his head and carefully replying, newly free hands fidgeting together as he tried to shrug up the sweater that fell off one of his shoulders. It was Chad’s favourite to wear, and therefore it was also Carlos’s favourite to wear. 

“Well,” He tried to sort out his thoughts. “For starters, that just sounds like a really shitty situation all around.” _ Diplomatic words. Visible empathy. What did you learn in Remedial Goodness, Carlos. _ Why would Chad choose  _ now  _ to start blaming himself for something. “Honestly Chad, I could write a novel on all the things that actually are your fault. This is like… well, yeah, you never said anything and nobody is a mind reader, but it’s still not nice. And Auradon hands out pamphlets about niceness like it’s candy, so that just makes it a lot worse, especially because you grew up with that, and-” He took a deep breath. “You don’t have to make it your brand! There’s nothing wrong with talking to Doug or Audrey or whoever about it, because I’m sure they’d be upset that they made you upset. Like, jeez,  _ I  _ give you a hard time, but you know I don’t mean it.”

Carlos saw Chad start sniffling again pulling the blanket up until it covered his whole body. Then he his heart sank as got the worst thought. “You… do know that I don’t mean it, right?”

Chad averted his eyes to the wall. “It’s like you said,” He licked his lips and Carlos made a note to get him water. “I say stupid stuff all the time. And I do stupid stuff.”

“You do things without thinking and you’re kinda oblivious, once again” Carlos corrected him. “And you have a lot of emotions that you act on. It’s different. I’ve personally tutored you, Chad, and you have common sense and pick things up when you actually pay attention. School doesn’t mean anything for intelligence anyways, it’s a pretty unfair grading system because some people just have a better work ethic than others,” He paused to try and regain the topic. “But I’m sorry I call you names a lot. I promise I don’t mean them. Ninety-nine percent of the time.” Carlos grabbed Chad’s hand from his hair, entwining their fingers. “I  _ never  _ want to hurt you, you have to know that, at least.

Sniffing louder and squeezing his hand, Chad nodded a little. “Yeah,” He smiled weakly. “If you did, you would have done it a lot sooner, right? At least fifteen minutes ago.”   
  


Carlos smiled back, hoping it was soft enough. “More like… oh, five years ago?”`

Chad gave him a little pout, and it was definitely as cute as he thought it was. “That’s when you got here. You wouldn’t have given me a chance?”

“I would have just helped hide your body after Evie got through with you.”

Chad physically winced. “I apologized to her!”

“I know, love, and you’re on a really great roll with that recently.” Carlos hummed slightly, rubbing his thumb over the shape of Chad’s knuckles. The look on his face was probably so lovesick it was a little gross. “I really am sorry that you thought I meant everything I tease you about.”

Stifling a yawn with his free hand, Chad gave the tiniest shrug. “I don’t know why I overreacted like that. Usually I really don’t care! I wasn’t just saying that to seem super tough.” He paused. “I already am super tough.” 

“You sure are.” Carlos pulled Chad’s hand up to kiss the back of it. “Sometimes the things you let pile up in you just explode out when you’re vulnerable. That’s what my psyche class told me, anyways.”

Chad sighed slightly, picking at a little blemish on his face. Carlos brushed his hand away on habit because he knew Chad would be even more upset later if he realised he made it more noticeable. Chad caught his hand before he could pull it back, though, and suddenly they were in the sappiest possible position. Because the universe very usually liked to prove Carlos wrong, Chad pulled him by his hands and leaned down for a kiss, which Carlos readily returned.  _ That  _ was the sappiest.

Chad pulled back to yawn again. He raised their hands up between them when he was done, and Carlos swore he was trying to count the freckles on his arms.  _ Good luck.  _ “I think,” Chad started to say quietly. “It’s because, like, okay. You know how taking all those political and business classes or whatever? For when I take over the throne? The teacher  _ always  _ calls on me, which is so weird because it’s college right? It’s supposed to be different than high school. But she asks me all these hard questions that I swear we haven’t even covered yet, and I never know the answer, and everybody just… whispers, you know? And the  _ giggling.” _

Carlos squeezed his hands encouragingly as Chad continued, voice getting louder. “And you know I hate school. But I’m trying to be good at it! I’m doing that stupid placement job to get extra credit! I haven’t even asked someone to do my work once, and I get bad marks cause I’m just bad at it, but I’m trying! And I’m  _ nobody  _ at that place, because it’s home and everyone already knows me! I can’t just do what I did at Auradon Prep, because I’m going to be in charge of all of them one day,” He sounded more miserable with every word. “I think every hates me  _ because  _ I’m royalty. Which is just… so wrong!”

“We really need to work on communicating better,” Carlos muttered, mostly to himself before raising his voice to address Chad. “Charmington has a pretty big poverty issue. Full offense, your dad is kind of a shitty king. Speaking from, you know, Isle experience, if Ben showed up at our school instead of the other way around acting like Mr Nice Himbo Prince, he would have gotten ripped to shreds because we blamed  _ everything  _ on Auradon. But not because of his personality,” Carlos dropped the right hand he was holding to tap the side of Chad’s head. “Or how smart he was. It’s like that, I think, you’re an easy stand-in for all the stuff people are mad at.”

Chad was absolutely seething with frustrated with the explanation. “But  _ I’m  _ not doing it! It’s my  _ stupid _ , dumb dad. I have ideas on how to fix that stuff, you know. Like poor people! I got a bunch of notes on my phone, but my dad won’t listen. He keeps saying stuff about how my mom got to me, and the econominal blah blah won’t change, and blah blah whatever. It’s like he doesn’t even care about the people  _ in  _ the kingdom, just that he’s in charge of it.”

“Then  _ tell  _ them that. I swear to fucking god, Chad, all your problems will be solved if you just talk to people.” Carlos patted his cheek lightly, mostly because he could. “Like this, how we are now. I think I like this.”

“I like this too.” Chad admitted, still upset about his dad causing another issue in his life. “But I still haven’t slept in two days, so I might change my mind.”

Carlos had almost completely forgotten the whole reason this feelings session was happening in the first place. “Yeah, why aren’t you sleeping? You’re gonna end up passing out at the tailors.”

Chad was suddenly a lot more interested in the rogue curl that fell in front of his face than the conversation. “I started staying behind a little later to help clean up the shop and do inventory and stuff. They’re short a couple friends because Laurie is having that baby, remember? And I can only do night shift because Wednesday and Thursday classes run late, so... I don’t really get home until about four…” He frowned. “The midnight theme isn’t that much fun when you have to work it.”

“Then you have class again at seven.” Carlos noted in consideration. “Why don’t you sleep when you get home from school? Or, you know, quit your placement there and just take the extra class.”

“I need the credit, and…” Chad’s cheeks flushed just enough to be noticable. “When I get home is our time together. We wouldn’t see each other otherwise.”

Oh, that was sweet. Stupid, but sweet. Carlos shifted to raise himself on his knees and gave Chad a kiss. “It’s not stupid,” He said very carefully, their faces still close together. “But it is  _ extremely  _ not thought out.” 

“That’s my brand?” Chad tried to excuse weakly, giving him his best sheepish ‘what can you do’ smile. 

“We are going to sleep.” Carlos told him sternly, poking his nose so he knew just how serious this was. “Both of us. We’ll wake up for you to go to work, then I’ll play minecraft for six hours, then you’ll get home and we can do whatever you want.”

Chad looked a little guilty. “You don’t need to-”

“Shut up, love.” Carlos stood up, offering up his hand. “And I’m calling Doug and Audrey first thing post nap.”

“You’re so bossy,” Chad mumbled with a yawn, and let Carlos help pull him up.

He ended up falling asleep the second he wrapped his arms around Carlos in bed.

**Author's Note:**

> the biggest irony is that i haven't slept in 36 hours while writing this


End file.
